Land of Make Believe
by Insidiae
Summary: [Shut. UP.] Having fallen into a world where people have body parts they shouldn't, armor is fashionable, and everyone is far too happy, Kurogane fails to share the cheer, and Fai's bizarre sexual innuendo really isn't helping. Twoshot, KxF, side SxS.
1. Chapter 1

You see all these "fairytale" challenge stories going around here? Yep, well here's mine! It's based upon a lesser known story, entitled The Three Dogs.

Because turning Kurogane and Syaoran into dogs was too big of a temptation to resist.

This story was originally supposed to be a one-shot, but uh, eheh, it kind of turned into something bigger than I expected. It's a small monster now, so it will take part over two chapters.

Enjoy!

* * *

"What. The. Hell."

Kurogane looks around his surroundings. The group has gotten separated again, leaving him with Fai and Syaoran, Sakura and Mokona nowhere to be found. However, they have to be close by, seeing as Kurogane can still understand the other two. Speaking of whom...

"Uwaa! Kuro-wanko and Syaoran-kun really _are_ Big Puppy and Little Puppy now!"

"Shut. _Up,_" the ninja growls, grabbing at the blond. Fai nimbly dodges and leaps over his head, grabbing Kurogane's tail and tugging lightly in teasing.

Yes, that's right, tail. The three of them - Fai, Kurogane, and Syaoran - fell into the world only to find that their appearance had been slightly altered. All of them now sport little dog ears and a tail.

Kurogane is less than happy.

Fai grins that infuriating grin. Off to the side, Syaoran strokes the soft fur of his new floppy ears, noticing that his nails are slightly longer than usual. Kurogane scowls, his pointed ears flattening against the surface of his head. Fai can't help but laugh, playing with his own large ears. They're similar in shape to Syaoran's, but they're fuzzier. He attempts to frown, but it doesn't work very well when giddy laughter is threatening to burst from his lips. "Oh, but this is wrong!" He wags his tail - a thin, muscled thing with short hair like his ears - blinking curiously at the sensation. "I'm supposed to be a Big Kitty!"

Kurogane makes another grab for his neck. Fai dodges again.

"Well, don't you all look cute."

The ninja can feel his ears go straight up. His teeth grit, the canines longer and sharper than he remembers. Excruciatingly slow, his head turns on its axis to meet the sight of the new speaker. He_ knows_ that voice.

"Yuuko-san!"

Oh, that Space Time Bitch is fucking dead.

"_You,_" he snarls, stalking towards her. Some small part of his mind wonders what she's doing out of her shop, but it's undermined by the feelings of pure rage he has towards the woman. "_You_ are responsible for this," Kurogane manages to hiss out from clenched teeth, jabbing a finger at her. "What the _hell _did you do to us?"

Yuuko narrows her eyes and crosses her arms over her chest. "How quickly you assume things," she scolds, her whole body screaming that she's Not Intimidated. Her nonchalant nature makes Kurogane want to punch something, and her face is looking more and more like a punching bag by the second. "I'll have you know that I had nothing to do with this. The world itself changed you, not me."

Kurogane decides that if that is the case, this is the crappiest world ever made.

"But what is Yuuko-san doing here?" Syaoran asks, not even realizing that one of his over-sized ears has flopped over his head as he tilts it to the side. "Who's taking care of the shop?"

"Oh that," she says, waving her hand dismissively. "Don't you worry about that. I'll only be here for a little bit, and Mokona is a great shopkeeper in the meantime!" Kurogane gets a sinking feeling in his gut at the mere thought, praying for any unfortunate wish-maker's sake that the black Mokona is more sane than the white one. "I'm just here to play my part, Syaoran-kun, and it should be over as soon as she comes."

"She?" Fai inquires. Yuuko opens her mouth to respond, but her words are swallowed by the sound of loud footsteps and happy gibberish.

"Puu!"

"Tan!"

"Shuiiii!"

The three men turn to look at the familiar noises, eyebrows shooting up to their hairline. Coming up the road they're on is Sakura. Connected to her wrist are leashes, which in turn are connected to three bouncing, rainbow-colored Mokona. Her eyes widen in recognition. "Fai-san, Kurogane-san, Syaoran-kun!"

The Mokona drag her along, finally stopping right in front of Yuuko and the three dog-men. "Yuuko-san!" she adds, startled, finally noticing the unusual member of the group. "Is something wrong?"

The witch laughs again. "No, no, nothing's wrong. I just needed a break from the shop, and I'd thought it'd be interesting to watch you all try and find a feather."

Syaoran's head shoots up at that. "Of course!" he shouts, unbelieving at his own forgetfulness. "The feather! Now that we've found Sakura-hime, we need to search for feathers..." He moves towards her, but stops suddenly. "...What?"

Kurogane raises an eyebrow at him. "What's wrong, kid?" He, too, moves forward, only to stop at the same place as Syaoran. "What the hell?" The muscles in his leg strain as he tries to take another step, but his body refuses to yield. "Why the hell can't I move passed here?" He continues struggling for a few moments, before realization dawns upon him. "_You,_" he hisses at Yuuko, snapping his head back to glare at her. The rest of his body soon follows. "You're doing this to us." He runs at her, making to strangle her, when he's suddenly stopped mid-charge by an electrifying shock going throughout his body, reducing him to a yelping heap.

Yuuko looks at him coolly. "Bad doggy," she grins, fingering the shock button that clearly connects to the collar around Kurogane's throat. "Pets who try to hurt their owners get punished."

Off to the side, Fai falls into fits of laughter while Kurogane growls low in his throat. Sakura blinks innocently. "Yuuko-san, what's going on?"

"It appears Yuuko-san is our master," Fai manages between chuckles. He apparently finds nothing wrong with this situation. However, he quickly regains his breath, a somber mood falling over his face. "And she seems to want to keep us on a short leash." The grave mood lasts for maybe a second longer before he cracks up again, laughing at his own pun.

"Master!" Sakura repeats, shocked. "But... how?"

"Simple," Yuuko says. "They're my dogs."

"Dogs...?" The princess narrows her eyes to a squint, peering at the group. Her eyes widen suddenly, noticing for the first time the ears and tails on her companions. "Oh my gosh!" Syaoran blushes, turning his head away in shame, Kurogane glares at air, and Fai wags his tail, still experimenting with his new body parts. "You're so _cute_!"

Syaoran looks significantly relieved, giving a sheepish grin, and Fai offers a bright smile, wagging his tail excitedly.

Kurogane glares harder.

"Ah... but..." A look of concentration crosses the young girl's face. "If everyone belongs to Yuuko-san..." She pauses, putting two and two together. Slowly, she raises her head, determined eyes meeting those of the witch's. "Yuuko-san, may I please have Fai-san, Kurogane-san, and Syaoran-kun back?"

"Now, now, Sakura-chan," Yuuko consoles, giving a sympathetic smile. "You should know by now that anything I give comes with a price. And these are very valuable animals, after all. Fai-Salt here will cook you food whenever you need it. Syao-Pepper will tear attackers to pieces." The boy flushes lightly, both at the compliment and the nickname. Yuuko sure has picked peculiar names for them. The Witch of Dimensions pauses, placing a delicate hand on top of Kurogane's head. "And this, this is Kuro-Mustard..."

Kurogane squawks indignantly at the name, shaking his head and trying to bite her hand. Fai thinks he's just found his new favorite nickname for the ninja.

Yuuko glares at the warrior, lightly bopping him on the nose, reprimanding him. "He's not very good tempered," she says. Her eyes are narrowed at the Japan native, but when she turns back to Sakura, she's all cheer. "But he can bite through iron and steel-"

"I can do _what?_"

"-So I guess he's valuable enough. In any case, the point is that the cost for them would be quite pricey."

"But-!" Sakura objects, a crushed look falling over her delicate features. Her brow furrows in desperation. "But... I have nothing..."

The multi-colored Mokona choose this moment to start chorusing again, spouting out gibberish loudly. Sakura starts - she had, apparently, forgotten about their presence - before apprehension dawns in her eyes. "Yuuko-san, would you like-"

"Sure!" the older woman agrees before the younger can even finish her sentence. She quickly passes control of the dog-men to Clow Country's princess, grabbing the leashed Mokona from her in return. "Deal!"

Syaoran's stubby tail sways happily, showing how glad he is to be back with Sakura. However, both Fai and Kurogane look carefully at Yuuko, eyes calculating. That trade was far too easy.

"Thank you so much, Yuuko-san!" the girl exclaims, knocking them out of their reverie before they can dwell on it. She grins at the group, and then they're off, searching the world for another feather.

* * *

"So what is Sakura-hime doing in all that armor?" 

The group of four travelers walks down the dirt path they journey on aimlessly, no destination in mind. Without Mokona to guide them to a feather, they really have no basis to go on, but they're reassured that the white creature isn't too far off by the fact that they can all understand each other. With this in mind, Syaoran makes it his priority to know exactly what happened to his princess.

"I'm not sure," she says honestly, looking at the metal covering her body. She raises an eyebrow carefully - the design of it isn't very efficient. Her legs are unprotected from knee to high thigh, where the metal flairs into a sort of mini-skirt. The bottom half of her legs are indeed covered, but by unpractical high-heeled, armored boots. The neck of the torso is also very low, revealing some of her cleavage, and all and all it seems as though the armor was designed to show off her body rather than cover it. "When I woke up here, this was what I was wearing."

Syaoran pales visibly, disturbed at the thought of someone undressing and redressing his princess. However, he reminds himself that he awoke with new body parts, so he figures it has to be part of this world's magic.

Fai cocks his head to the side, whistling lightly. "Oh? And what happened to Sakura-chan after she woke up?"

"Oh!" The girl's eyes sparkle, suddenly remembering her adventures. "I met Touya-nii-sama! Well, at least, this world's Touya-nii-sama..." Her face scrunches in thought, recollecting the events that led up to her finding the others. "He said our dad just died... and he left us a house and the three Mokii-chan." She smiles brightly. Whether it's her own world's or another's, Touya would always be her loving older brother. "Touya-nii-sama said that I should take the house, but I just couldn't! I'm not even going to stay here."

"And he just let you go?" Kurogane asks with an eyebrow raised. He may not know Touya very well, but if the one from this world is anything like the ones Kurogane has met elsewhere, he wouldn't have let Sakura go on her own merry way that easily, especially without doting to make sure she was alright.

"No," Sakura 'hmphs,' confirming his theory. "Touya-nii-sama was very stubborn. I had to argue with him to convince him to take the house."

Syaoran pales again. He's seen arguments between the royal siblings.

They aren't pretty.

"But anyways!" she continues, drastically brightening the mood. "How did you all end up like this?" she prods, scratching curiously at the area where Syaoran's ear meets his head. The boy sighs happily, a goofy grin making its way across his face. Off to the side, Fai takes note.

Syaoran begins to answer her, and Fai shifts his attention away from the two, focusing it instead on Kurogane. The urge to giggle is hard to resist as the blond watches the black stump of a tail stick out awkwardly from the ninja's backside, hidden by his pants (Fai's own tail is out and freely moving, his pants slung low on his hips to allow it mobility). It makes a troublesome lump in Kurogane's trousers, and Fai can only think, with no small amusement, that it makes it look like the Japanese man has a backwards erection.

Unable to hold it back any longer, the magician snickers.

Kurogane gives him an odd look. "What the hell are you laughing at?"

Fai suppresses his giggles, trying to regain his breath and think of a good response. He somehow doubts that the man would be very appreciative if he replies with 'You.' Not thinking of anything good to say, he eventually answers, "Nothing, Kuro-rin," and the ninja is forced to let it be, though he remains disgruntled, as per usual, by the Ceresian man's actions.

But for Fai, it's not that easy, because the stump at Kurogane's butt is still there, and it's a real struggle for the wizard to remember that it's a dog tail. Of course, even remembering this is a mistake, seeing as those thoughts lead to thoughts of 'doggy style' and soon Fai's mind is just one giant heap of bizarre sexual innuendo. Silent laughter overtakes him, and he soon collapses into a trembling mass on the ground.

The children look startled, while Kurogane just looks cautious. He holds up a hand to stop the children from approaching, instead braving the dangers of reaching out to what the ninja is considering to be more and more of a lunatic by every passing second. "Oi... mage..." he speaks sensitively, treading carefully. He's prepared for pretty much anything. However, 'pretty much anything' does not include what he hears coming out of the wizard's mouth between his titters.

"...Backwards... penis..."

Kurogane blinks, stands, and turns away. Looking straight ahead, he addresses Syaoran and Sakura. "Come on. We're leaving him."

"Ah! But-!" The two from Clow look at each other, then between Fai and Kurogane's retreating back, reaching the same conclusion at the same time. Running after the ninja, they cry, "Kurogane-san, please wait! We need to help Fai-san..."

As their voices, too, fade away, Fai manages to collect himself. Realizing that the others have left him behind, he pouts. "Kuro-wanko is so mean, leaving me behind." He doesn't bother himself too much with it though, knowing that Syaoran and Sakura will convince Kurogane to at the very least stop until he catches up with them.

And besides, he thinks, falling once more into a fit of cackles. The look on Kurogane's face was _totally_ worth it.

* * *

"Well that's just vaguely suspicious." 

The group stares at the log cabin in front of them. It appears to be completely empty, but there is smoke rising from the chimney, implying that there's someone living there – or at least was, until _very_ recently.

Fai's the one who spoke – by the time he had caught up with the others, it was already dark. They agreed that they should look for a shelter, and no sooner had they turned a corner then they had found the small cabin of which they're presently standing in front of.

Kurogane grunts in agreement. Though, in his mind, this whole world is vaguely suspicious.

"Maybe it's Sakura-hime's luck?" Syaoran offers with a shrug of his shoulders. Stranger things have happened because of it, after all.

"Perhaps," Fai replies seriously, assessing the situation. He then brightens suddenly. "Oh well, who cares? The point is that it's here. Let's go!"

"Ah, Fai-san, wait-!" Sakura reaches a hand out towards him, but he's already gone down the cobblestone path, whistling to himself happily. A concerned look falls over her delicate features. "….Is this going to be okay?"

Syaoran places a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I'm sure it'll be fine. We'll just explain to whoever lives there what our situation is," he says, using his hand on her back to guide her towards the cottage.

Kurogane, the last one one remaining on the path, drags a hand over his face, pinching the bridge of his nose. This, like most things the magician does, has trouble written all over it. With a tired sigh he, too, moves towards the cabin. One of the parents has to be responsible, after all, and it's clear that the mother isn't in the mood.

Oh God. When did he start thinking of himself as a parent?

And when did he start accepting that guy being a mother?

Ugh. And if Kurogane is the father and Fai is the mom, that would make them married, wouldn't it? And that means that they would have to spend every day together too, right?

A blast of icy wind knocks his speeding train of thought off track. The cold of night settles into his skin and he growls, realizing the other three are already inside. Making his legs move faster, he hurries towards shelter and the warmth of a fire, all the while wondering why the thought of spending the rest of his life with the damned blond idiot doesn't bother him as much as it should.

* * *

"Look, Kuro-chi! Look what we found!" 

Kurogane raises an eyebrow at the piece of paper waving around in his face. He attempts to read it, but it's moving too fast for him to make any sense of any of the letters. Frustrated, he eventually rips the piece of paper out of the blond's hands, shifting to read it.

"Dear weary travelers, I have set up this house for any who wishes to find shelter within it. Please feel free to use any of the provisions inside." He looks up at the others dubiously. "What the hell? What kind of idiot leaves his house out to be ransacked?"

Syaoran shrugs, sitting on one of the two beds in the room. There are two other rooms attached - a kitchen and a living room. "It does seem kind of odd..." The boy shrugs again. "Maybe it's not unusual in this world? Perhaps there's a lot more trust here."

Sakura removes her boots and collapses on the bed, glad just to be out of the foot-murdering demons. "I say we should just be grateful that someone has offered us shelter and food." Her stomach grumbles and she flushes with embarrassment. "Speaking of food..."

Fai laughs and starts toward the kitchen. "Don't you worry, Sakura-chan, I'll go make you something." At signs of her protest, he waves her off, saying, "It's alright. It's my job, remember? 'Fai-Salt will make you food whenever you need it.'" The wizard flashes her a grin and before she can say anything else, he saunters off.

Once in the kitchen, he looks around, eyes appreciative of the number of cupboards compressed into the small place. He opens all of them, happy to seem them all filled to the brim with food supplies. Whoever stocked this place did a damn good job. There's a device he recognizes from worlds like Hanshin and Piffle - a fridge, if he remembers correctly - that he opens wide as well, finding even more cuisine. A genuine, nostalgic smile flits briefly across his face - there's a lot of ingredients he recognizes, that he used to eat in Ceres. On a whim he pulls out a nice looking ham from the fridge and a carton of eggs.

In the pantry, there's olives, lemons, and a couple of green things he doesn't recognize. He yanks those out too, before turning to a cupboard above his head. It holds the final ingredient he wants, a sack of potatoes. He can reach them easily enough, but Fai's smart enough to realize that such a large sack of the vegetable would probably be heavier than he could handle if grabbing them at that height. He thinks hard for a second, his head in his hand, arm around his waist, and tail about his hips, with his ears hanging sadly. Suddenly, a bright idea hits him like a twelve ton sack of bricks - or, in this case, potatoes.

"Oh Kuro-pan, would you come here for a moment?" From the other room, Fai can hear grumbling. "I neeeeeeed you," he adds for good measure. This time there's embarrassed curses at his choice of words, and more grumbling than the last, but within a few moments the ninja emerges in the doorway to the kitchen.

"What the hell do you want?"

_You,_ the magician thinks, but is smart enough not to say. "Hyuu, Kuro-pu is tough as usual!" He trails over to Kurogane, placing one hand on his arm lightly, while using his other to point to the cabinet containing the potatoes. "I need those potatoes, Kuro-bun. Will you get them for Fai-mommy, please?" He blinks his eyes rapidly, clasping his hands sweetly in front of him.

Kurogane makes a face largely consisting of disgust at the magician's attempt to look innocent and sweet. Honestly, he should leave that to the princess. Still, he glances at where Fai is pointing, a small look of confusion on his features. "What are poteitosu?"

"Those gray-brown rock-looking things," Fai replies, still pointing. The ninja grunts in affirmation, pressing his body against the counter and stretching to reach. The blond watches his muscles ripple appreciatively, before remembering that there's something else he wants to try. Boldly, while Kurogane's distracted with getting the vegetable, Fai sneaks up behind him and scratches at the base of his ears like Sakura did to Syaoran earlier.

The effects are immediate.

Kurogane's eyes gain a glazed appearance and all his muscles relax at once. His head leans into Fai's touch and his mouth falls open, a low, content sound falling from his lips. Fai can feel something moving very slightly at his hip, and realizes belatedly that it's Kurogane's tail, trying to wag happily, but constricted by his pants. It's then that Fai recalls the dogs from Ceres enjoy having the area around their tails rubbed even more than their ears, and that they like a rougher scratch in that area as well. Biting his lip, Fai checks Kurogane's face for his expression. Confirming the fact that the ninja is still dazed, Fai keeps one hand scratching his ears while the other slips under the Japanese man's waistband to rub at his tail. The wizard didn't realize how hard it would be to resist letting his hand drop even further, but the muscled stub of a tail is shaking gleefully under his hand and Kurogane is making the most wonderful, guttural noises he's ever heard, so he manages to defy the temptation. However, as Fai continues scratching at his tail, something unexpected happens.

Kurogane's leg starts... _thumping._

Fai blinks, coming to understand what's happening. He's heard about this - the reflex vasodilator, which makes hindlegs move up and down rapidly, as if in a run. The realization causes him to laugh suddenly and loudly, and the tinkling noise knocks Kurogane out of his own dazed state. His leg slows as he digests what just happened to him. It takes a bit, but as soon as his eyes land on Fai, he has a pretty damn good idea. Both his hands clench into fists of rage, one of them grasping the sack of potatoes without him noticing. Furious, he spins around, shouting, "What the _hell_ do you think you're-!" but he doesn't get to finish his sentence. As he spins, he takes the sack with him, the weight of it collapsing against him and knocking him to the floor, Fai going down with him.

"It looks like I found Kuronpu's hot spot," the mage teases with a grin, looking up at the other man from his position beneath him and between his legs. "And now Kuro-Mustard wants more!"

"Don't call me that!" Kurogane roars, though he makes no move to get off the blond pinned underneath him. Fai, seeing a chance that probably won't come again, at least any time soon, reaches an arm around the ninja's back, pulling him closer. Again, he's met with no resistance, but when he dips his hand back down passed his waistband, the warrior returns to his senses and yanks himself away. Standing up shakily, he looks to the side as he offers Fai a helping hand up. "...I'm sorry about that. The... poteitosu... fell on me."

Fai accepts the hand and stands, noticing with no small amount of amusement that his own tail is moving pretty fast. Well, that's what he gets for getting so excited. "Potatoes," he corrects the other man, dusting himself off.

"Yeah, that's what I said. Poteitosu." Fai shakes his head with a smile, and moves back to the food, showing the two green things to Kurogane.

"Do you know what these are?"

"Those are peas," the ninja replies, pointing to the pods in the magician's right hand. "And that," he says, making a face. "Is celery."

"Are they good?"

"The peas are fine," Kurogane responds with a nonchalant shrug. "But the celery tastes like stale water. Only crunchy."

"Sounds good!" Fai approves, grabbing a knife from one of the drawers to cut the vegetable.

Kurogane scowls at the response. "Oi, don't you get what I just said? I don't like-"

"Kuro-wan, will you start peeling those potatoes while you're here, please?"

Kurogane sighs, rolling his eyes and giving up. It isn't worth it to try and resist the wizard. "Yeah, yeah, fine. Hey, do you even know what you're doing?"

"Nope!" Fai exclaims, waving the knife around joyfully and dangerously. "Kuro-wanta should know by now that Fai-mommy never thinks about anything before doing it!" The smile on Fai's face freezes, looking all at once much emptier than just a few seconds ago. In his mind, his own words replay over and over, and he lowers the knife slowly while casting his eyes downwards. "I never think about what I'm doing before it happens," he whispers to himself, sure that Kurogane is too far away on the other side of the counter to hear.

The silence of the room is broken only by the sound of a knife hitting a cutting board.

* * *

To be continued, dun, dun, dun. 

If anyone's curious, I based Fai off of a beagle, Kurogane off of a doberman, and Syaoran off of a cocker spaniel.

Please review!

-Insidiae-


	2. Chapter 2

Hm, well, this could've been better, but I really just didn't have time.

Also, since this takes place before Acid Tokyo, they would have no reason to know who Fuuma is.

* * *

"Hey look! It's another vaguely suspicious thing!" 

Fai smiles brightly, pointing straight ahead. The other three come up behind him, eyebrows shooting to their hairlines at the sight before them.

They rest at the top of a hill, leading into a valley. At the bottom of the valley appears to be a flourishing, bustling town with high buildings and big markets. However, right above the town, contained to its borders alone, is a dark storm cloud.

"...That's not natural, right?" inquires Sakura, looking absolutely stunned.

"No," Fai affirms, squinting at the cloud mass critically. "That's definitely magic."

"Which means there's a good chance of Sakura-hime's feather being there." Syaoran steps forward, a hand shifting to the hilt of his sword and determination glowing in his eyes. "Come on, let's check it out." Kurogane looks at the boy with something similar to pride as the group follows him. The kid's growing up.

"Aw," Fai cuts into his thoughts, clinging to his arm. "Is Kuro-wankoro proud of his son?"

"Get off me!" the ninja yells, shaking his arm furiously. Slowly, Fai dislodges himself from the other man, but he keeps the smug grin on his face. If he looks closely enough, the wizard thinks he can see red coloring Kurogane's cheeks before the warrior turns his head away. "...And he's not my son."

Fai smiles. Cute.

They reach the town quickly. As soon as they enter its borders, it becomes noticeably colder, the sun blocked by the overcast sky. The mood seems to darken just as quickly, a gloom settling over the group of four almost immediately upon crossing the gateway.

"Cheerful place," Fai comments dryly, fake smile plastered on his face. Somewhere in the distance a bell rings. People gather in the streets, all wearing black, many wailing loudly. Curious, the magician walks over to one, tapping her lightly on the shoulder. "Excuse me miss, but could you tell me what's happening?"

She looks at him and his white clothing horrified. "What are you wearing? Have you no respect?"

"I'm sorry," he says, baffled. "I don't understand."

"Haven't you heard?" the woman whispers in astonishment. Fai shakes his head ans smiles apologetically, and she wails again. "Ohime-sama was chosen this year!"

"Chosen?" Kurogane interjects. Fai makes a motion with his clawed hand to hush him, but it doesn't really matter because everyone becomes distracted by the sound of horses coming up the road. Everyone on the road breaks out into spontaneous shouts and cries, sobbing into one another, leaving the four travelers stunned.

"Ohime-sama!"

"Please don't do it!"

"Don't leave us!"

"We need you!"

Kurogane growls at the excessive noise. "Okay, seriously. What the hell is going on?" he demands, squinting down the road. Soon, a large, moving objects comes into view, and the ninja recognizes it as a carriage. What he also recognizes is the woman riding a horse beside it. "Souma!"

Completely disregarding any of the townspeople - or any common sense - he runs down the street, stopping right in front of the carriage's path. The coachman quickly pulls back on the reins to avoid trampling him, and the horses whinny and rear in protest. Souma looks shocked for a moment, before glaring.

"What do you think you're doing?" she questions angrily. "You could have been killed!"

"Souma-"

"And who do you think you are, approaching Ohime-sama's carriage like that?!"

"Shut up, Souma-"

"Don't tell me to shut up! And how do you know my name, anyway?!"

"SOUMA," Kurogane shouts, losing control. God almighty, no matter what world he's in, this woman takes pride in pissing him off. "Be. Quiet."

The woman gapes openly at him. She opens her mouth to make a sharp reply when a voice from inside interrupts. "Souma, what's going on out there?"

Sweat collects on Souma's brow as she tries to think of a hasty response. "Nothing, Ohime-sama! It's nothing to worry about! You should just-" She cuts off as the dark hair of her princess emerges from the carriage window.

"Ah, it's you! Finally!"

"Tomoyo-hime!"

"-Stay inside the carriage," the woman finishes flatly.

By this time, Fai, Sakura, and Syaoran are catching up, stopping just behind Kurogane and placing their hands on their knees as they regain their breath, while Tomoyo steps out of her carriage. She smiles largely at them.

"It's about time you got here! I thought you'd never make it!"

"Tomoyo-chan?" Sakura greets cautiously.

"Yes, it's me Sakura-chan!" she exclaims, clasping the other girl's hands in her own. The three males look at them surprised. Surely, they'd met Tomoyo from other worlds, but they're all quite certain they've never been to this one before. Souma looks equally dubious.

"Do you know these people, Ohime-sama?"

"Yes!" Tomoyo confirms, never letting go of Sakura's hand. "I met them once in..." She trails off, looking at the suspicion on their faces before laughing nervously. "Aha, that is to say, I've had dreams about them."

"Oh," Souma and Kurogane reply at the same time before glaring at each other. So this world's Tomoyo is a dream-gazer as well. Makes sense.

"And they've done great things in my dreams!" Tomoyo continues, going slightly starry-eyed. "They're the ones who are going to save me, Souma!"

"I was actually wondering about that," Syaoran pipes up, speaking for the first time since they entered the town. "Tomoyo-hime, one of the townspeople said you were chosen for something. What is it?"

"Ah," Tomoyo murmurs, dropping Sakura's hand as her own fall to her sides. "That." She looks at the group, and then at the black storm cloud over her head. "It's a long story." She turns back to the four. "Would you not come back to the castle with me? I promise I'll explain everything there."

* * *

"So... there's a dragon in the mountain." 

"That's right!"

"...And every year, it takes a maiden from this village as a sacrifice."

"Mmhmm!"

"...And this year, Tomoyo-hime was chosen as the maiden sacrifice."

"Yep!"

"Sounds serious," Fai says airily, challenge in his tone. Tomoyo seems to be far too chipper considering her situation.

"Oh," the princess responds, blinking her violet eyes twice. "Yes, it's very serious. Very serious."

Right.

"You don't seem too concerned about it," Kurogane voices, shifting in his overly-cushioned seat. The nobles in this world apparently have a thing for stuffed couches and chairs, and lots of wooden decoration. The ninja glares at the teacup in his hand. It's nothing remotely close to Japan.

"Uh... well..." Tomoyo shifts her eyes to the side. "Um, I have no reason to be concerned!" She smiles blindingly. "I, uh, dreamed about you, after all! I dreamed that you four will slay the dragon and save this village!"

"Us?" Sakura asks, placing her cup back on the coffee table and looking nervously between Syaoran, on her left, and Tomoyo, on her right. Across the table, Fai smiles at her encouragingly, while nudging Kurogane in the ribs to do the same.

The ninja grunts.

"That's right, Sakura-chan!" the enthusiastic princess shouts, latching onto the other girl's waist in an awkward glomp. "You especially! I saw you leading your three dogs against the dragon to victory!"

"We're not dogs!"

Tomoyo blinks again. "You're not?" she inquires curiously, looking at the ears on Kurogane's head. She may not be able to see his tail itself, but she can also see the awkward way that it's making him sit. "You look like dogs to me," she says with a shrug.

Kurogane has the urge to throttle the woman, but he refrains. His world or not, Tomoyo is still his princess, and still has his pledge of allegiance. Besides, it's wrong to hit girls.

Even if they do deserve it.

"Well, anyways!" Tomoyo starts again, getting everyone back on track. "I'll be sacrificed tomorrow, if nothing happens. You'll help me, won't you all?"

Syaoran nods. "Of course we will, Tomoyo-hime," he agrees, hand unconsciously sliding to rest on Hien's hilt at his side. "Nobody deserves to be sacrificed. And besides, that dragon must have a lot of magical power, which means that one of Sakura-hime's feathers may be involved." Clow's princess nods her assent and Syaoran breathes a sigh of relief that she's okay with doing it, too. Remembering the other two in their party, he looks over at Fai and Kurogane, grimacing at the sour expression on the latter's face. "That is, of course, if Fai-san and Kurogane-san are alright with that."

"It's fine with me, Syaoran-kun. It's as good a place to look for Sakura-chan's feather as any."

"...Whatever."

"Wonderful!" Tomoyo shouts, once again grasping Sakura's hand in her own. "Then, if you'd allow me to, I'd love to show you to your rooms."

The group whines in agreement as one. This world is tiring.

* * *

"Wheet-whoo!" Fai mock-whistles. "Isn't it impressive Kuro-Mustard?" 

Kurogane groans. "I told you not to make that noise," he complains, but his voice lacks conviction. The man is exhausting. "And stop calling me that."

Fai happily ignores him and prances off and around, leaving Kurogane to examine the elaborate room. Big, frilly curtains fall over huge stained glass windows, rose petals are scattered on the bed, a giant, crystal chandelier hangs from the ceiling, and there are ribbons everywhere.

Oh yeah. This is definitely Tomoyo's doing.

Fai coos and grins at the overwhelming decor. He grasps a few of the red petals from the bed and grasps them tightly, babbling about one thing or another - Kurogane isn't sure exactly what, since he stopped listening as soon as he heard the word 'romance' the first time.

The ninja wonders how Syaoran and Sakura are dealing with their room, looking over in its direction. It's probably just as intimate, and neither or them really know how to deal with these sorts of situations...

"I'm sure they'll be fine, Kuro-daddy," Fai says, coming out of nowhere, as if reading his mind. The blond places a comforting hand on his shoulder and smiles. Kurogane gives him a surprised look, and Fai chuckles. "You were looking in their direction," he explains. "And you had the cutest expression of concern on!" The mage tugs on one of his ears. "Isn't Kuro-Mustard cute, caring for his puppies!"

"Argh!" Kurogane growls, batting the hand away. "That's it!" He reaches out to grab Fai, but the wizard dodges his hand gracefully.

"Wee! It looks like I made Kuro-chan mad!" He dodges two more hands, sliding to the side with a smooth swivel of his hips. The movement is fluid, like everything he does, and, likewise, incredibly sexual. "Well, I'm not that easy!" Fai sing-songs, letting the innuendo fall from his lips breezily. "Catch me if you can, Kuro-rin!"

He dashes away, Kurogane chasing after him. The room is big enough to allow a fair bit of mobility, but there's only so far Fai can go before his companion catches up with him. With a snarl, the ninja grabs him, a fist grasping at the base of his blond tail.

Fai stops moving instantaneously. "Ahhhh," he moans quietly. Kurogane's thumb is unconsciously rubbing up and down through the coarse fur. "Haa... KuroKuro..."

Kurogane looks curiously at him. This isn't the response he was expecting. The groans and pants continue, causing him to grow disconcerted. Maybe he's hurting the stupid idiot? Chancing a glance at the blond's face, Kurogane takes note of his flushed cheeks and glazed blue eyes.

Oh. Not hurting.

Definitely not hurting.

Awkwardly, he lets the tail go, face flushing with embarrassment at the reaction it brought from Fai. A few seconds later, the wizard returns from his daze, though his movements still seem sluggish and there is a heat emanating off of him. Slowly, he turns his head to Kurogane, his eyes still hooded and sweat making the blond hair clump to his face stickily. "Kuro-chi..." he murmurs, and the ninja can't help but think that it's the closest he's ever heard a voice sound like pure sex in his life. His eyes are drawn automatically to the reddened, open lips where gasps of breath exit quickly in tiny huffs.

Outside, an owl hoots, breaking the silence and the mood with it.

Kurogane coughs into his fist discreetly, averting his eyes. "We should get to bed," he mumbles, starting towards the rose-covered piece of furniture. Fai follows him with a dopey smile on his face. Wordlessly, they slip under the sheets and Kurogane reaches over to turn of the lamp on the table next to his side of the bed. They remain like that for a while, and Fai stares at him in the darkness. Even though the lights are out, Kurogane can still see his blue irises, darker and still more glazed than they should be piercing into his own red ones. He grumbles low in his throat and turns his back to the blond.

As soon as he does, he can hear shifting. Looking over his shoulder, Kurogane sees Fai moving into his normal sleeping position, face in his pillow. The blond burrows under the covers, but Kurogane kicks his off.

Even though he knows the temperature should be very cold, Kurogane is oddly finding the room uncomfortable hot.

* * *

Later that night, when Fai is fast asleep and his chest is rising and falling evenly, Kurogane replaces his hand by the blond's tail, and falls asleep listening to his whimpers.

* * *

Tomoyo greets them them the next morning, a chipper smile on her face as usual. 

"Did everyone sleep well?"

Syaoran and Sakura blush as one and turn their heads to the side. The dark-haired princess smiles. She imagines it was a rather difficult night for the two of them.

Fai, however, offers only a goofy smile. "Yes, Tomoyo-chan," he says airily. "I had a very good dream. It was something that could never happen of course, but still, it was quite the fantasy... Though," he pauses, and Kurogane notices a slightly more deviant expression fall across his face. From the innoncent and unaware expressions the others wear, Kurogane figures he must be the only one who noticed the change. "I'm afraid the dream ended before I could get to the climax."

Kurogane chokes on his own breath. Unbelievable! Doesn't the man have any shame? And in front of the children, too!

"Is something wrong, Kuro-tan?" Fai's blue eyes slant towards them, the stare piercing him sharply. Kurogane inhales harshly and exhales with a growl.

Obviously!

"No, nothing's wrong," the ninja replies tersely, then adds under his breath, "Except your mental state."

Fai makes no sign of hearing him.

"Well," Tomoyo sighs, sobering up. "I'm glad. You have a difficult quest ahead of you." She gestures for them to follow her as she leads them through the grounds of the castle, passed ornate architecture and magnificent artwork. Outside, but the carriage, she requests, "If you will, I shall take you to the dragon now."

* * *

Tomoyo drops the group off at the bottom of a small, rocky hill leading into he mountain. She tells them she can't take them any closer, and with her deepest apologies and greatest hopes for their safety, she leaves them. 

Sakura looks boldy up into the cave that sites at the top of the rocky ledge. After only a moment's hesitation, she takes a large stride forward, the three men following shortly thereafter.

The enter the cave with caution, Sakura still leading, though Syaoran is right behind her, pretty much stepping on her heals. There's a faint light in the cave, coming from what they all assume is the central room, and the location of the dragon. Sure enough, as they get closer and the light gets brighter, they're able to hear sounds coming from the glow's direction. Finally coming in front of his princess, Syaoran sticks his head cautiously into the light's source, preparing for a horrible monster to attack him.

What he sees instead is a boy not much older than him, with dark hair and sharp features.

"Who are you?"

At the sound of a human voice, Fai and Kurogane enter the area as well, Sakura poking her between them. The dark-haired boy smirks at her, before repeating his question. "Who are you?"

"Just some travelers," Fai answers cheerfully, smile always on his face. "And who are you? We heard that people don't come around here often, because of the dragon that lives here, or soemthing."

"Oh?" The boy's smirk intensifies, turning into something jeering. "My name is Fuuma. I am the Dragon of Earth."

"What?!" Syaoran's hand reaches for Hien immediately, and Kurogane snatches Souhi on reflex. 'You're the dragon?!"

"That is correct," Fuuma replies, before flicking a hand. Behind the three men, Sakura lets out a yelp as an invisible force picks her up off the ground and brings her forward. "Are you my sacrifice, then?"

Sakura screams, fighting against the unseen hands that hold her, as Syaoran watches in horror. "Sakura-hime!" Hie eyes turn to Fuuma and harden immediately. "Let her go."

And then he's attacking.

Kurogane goes to unsheath Souhi, but Fai's hand stops him. "No," the magician whispers. "Don't. This is Syaoran-kun's fight." The ninja's eyes dart between the fight, the sword, and the pale hand holding him back, uncertain of what decision to make.

"...Fine," he agrees finally, dropping his hand. "Then what do you want me to do? I'm not just going to sit here and watch this."

Fai nods, looking as Syaoran's kick is blocked before Fuuma throws him back against the wall. "Come with me to look around here. I have a suspicion about something." The blond pauses, staring at Kurogane, whose eyes are riveted to the trickle of blood falling from Syaoran's lip. "I know its hard to leave him, but trust me. Syaoran-kun can take care of himself."

They don't say anything else for several minutes. when Kurogane finally manages to tear his eyes away from the fight to mention something to Fai, he realizes the other man is no longer there. The Japanese man lets out a string of curse, before heading back into the path they had taken to get to the room.

He finds Fai in the cavern hall, rapping on the stones lightly. The wizard's foot hits against a rock on the floor, and he pauses, blinking dumbly at it.

"Oi, mage," Kurogane grumbles, annoyed. There's a place and a time for messing around, and this isn't it. "What the hell are you doing?"

Fai turns slowly, stepping in front of the rock he just stubbed his toe on. He steps towards Kurogane with a bizarre expression on his face that makes something drop low in the ninja's stomach. "Hyuu," he he murmurs. "Kuro-tan is so cute when he's annoyed."

And then he kisses him.

The kiss takes Kurogane completely off guard. He makes a small noise, low in his throat, somewhere between a protest and a grunt of surprise. He opens his lips to tell Fai off, but the blond wastes no time in slipping his tongue through the opening, abruptly cutting Kurogane off as he loops a finger through his dog collar. Even through his frustration at the Ceresian man, Kurogane can feel his hands move down until they rest on Fai's hips, right by his tail, which is the exact instance the blond decides to break the kiss.

Kurogane just stares, looking dazed, until his senses come back in a flash. He can't believe Fai just did that. However, one look at the blond's teasing face proves it, and in a fit of sudden anger, he lunges at him. Fai, however, side-steps easily, and instead Kurogane lands harshly on the ground, the rock that Fai kicked before in his mouth. On instinct, he bites down as he lands, but instead of the shattering of teeth he would have expected, he beats cleanly through it. There is the sound of something snapping, and then the entire cave starts swirling.

Fai nods with a satisfied smile. "Ah, I thought so."

Kurogane is about to ask what it was he thought, when the swirling walls disappear completely. The ninja blinks stupidly, looking at the white walls of the room he now stands in. Syaoran and Sakura stand a mere foot away from him and Fai, rather than an entire room, and look just as bewildered. Another second later, and Kurogane realizes that nobody has ears or tails and that everyone is in normal clothing.

"...What the hell!"

The door to the room bursts open suddenly, Tomoyo rushing inside. However, she no longer wears royal robes or dresses - instead, she's dressed in a corporate three-piece suit. On her shoulder rests Mokona, giggling happily, though Tomoyo herself looks rather embarrassed and apologetic.

Fai smiles, despite the confused looks of his companions. "Ah, Tomoyo-chan, Mokona," he greets. "May I ask you a question? What world are we in?"

"We're in Piffle!" Mokona exclaims happily. Kurogane, Syaroan, and Sakura's jaws all drop to the floor.

"Piffle?!" Sakura questions disbelievingly. "But - but -there was a village! And horses and dragons!"

"All part of the new virtual reality technology my company is putting out!" Tomoyo cheers, raising a fist proudly into the air. "You're the first ones to try it! And let me say it now, you guys were great!" Her eyes take on a sort of starry effect while she grasps Sakura's hand. "Especially you, Sakura-chan. You looked so great in that armor I designed for you!"

"So this was all..." Kurogane cuts off, feeling his eye twitch. "A game?"

"That's correct!"

The ninja drags a hand down his face. "Manjuu, is there a feather here?"

"Nope! Piffle only had one feather-!"

"Then we're leaving. Now."

Tomoyo would protest their departure so early, except Kurogane looks like he wants to punch the next thing that speaks to him, and Fai is staring at him with this really creepy possesive smile on his face.

"But Kuro-daddy," Mokona protests.

"Now!" Kurogane almost strangles Mokona, but Fai places a hand on his arm to stop him. However, he doesn't let go, even as Mokona's magic wraps around them, transporting them to the next world.

And as Piffle disappears in front of them, Kurogane lets him.

* * *

And with that, I think, I'm done writing for Tsubasa. Especially KuroFai, since it seems obvious to me that I peaked with my first story and just got worse from there, and that's not a fun feeling 

Please review!

-Insidiae-


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